Why I Am Not Using Twitter

I have a twitter account.  It's primarily used to read headlines from The Onion.  I don't really tweet myself, because the only things I have to say go like this:

"Man, my feet are cold."
"I am so sleepy."
"I am currently using my time poorly, and although I recognize that fact, I will not change it."
"My kids are pretty cute."
"My kid is terrible.  Do other people's kids act like this?"
"Is the first ingredient of these ear drops Unicorn Tears*? Because fore $165 it should either be that or platinum." *Unicorn Tear joke stolen from Dallas. Active ingredient is actually Cipro.

I've had diminished hearing in my left ear since Christmas, but now I also have an external ear infection.  I suspect my ear drum in not in tact.  I saw two doctors last week, but one of them was Nick, and the other was my home teacher.  Nick kept telling me "I'm not your doctor," and wouldn't get involved.  But even he had to get involved after enough tears.  The external ear infection is pretty painful.  Since the ear canal is swollen shut, he placed an "otic wick" in order to get the antibiotic to where it's needed.  I see my "real" doctor on Friday, but since I don't trust her (she proved herself lacking on my last visit,) no matter what she tells me, I'm really just there to get a referral to an ENT.